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"Tinder changed the landscape of online dating a little," my friend Nomi*, 30, who identifies as queer, said. Dating apps nowadays make me want to move to a cave in the mountains and change my name." Another friend of mine, also named Lindsay, 34, who also identifies as queer, echoed similar sentiments, saying that she hates lesbian dating app Her because it's too much like Tinder in all the wrong ways."I want to actually hear more about the person than one headline and 10 selfies." Her founder Robyn Exton did tell CNN Money back in May that the rebranded app would have more text boxes and photos so that people could see "the interesting parts of how she lives," but a recent tour through the app shows that the extra info is still pretty rarely filled out.The wide range of identities of women-seeking-women not only makes it hard to sign up for apps that only have three options (straight, lesbian, bisexual) but could also explain why the majority of the queer women I spoke to say they prefer to meet dates through friends."I build everything on trust," my friend Valey, 27, who meets other women through friends IRL, told me.A 2013 study from Liverpool Hope University that studied 126 lesbian and straight women with the average age of 27 found that lesbians had and wanted to have just as much casual sex as straight women.But the gay women I talked to said they need to have some kind of connection to the other person, even if their only intention is to hook-up (which is often is). But now on Tinder everyone seems to be afraid of being too earnest.She might not think the first few guys are her type, but she could swipe for a few hours and probably find 15 guys she'd at least hook up with.And it's not a problem for gay men; about 70 percent of them report dating someone they met online.
Are lesbians not online dating because there's no good app, or is there no good app because lesbians don't like online dating?Meeting someone through your LGBTQ social network offers a level of Date Insurance that many queer women can't afford to do without.All this partner-vetting isn't to say all lesbians are serial monogamists.Lauren Kay, co-founder of the Dating Ring, says it is a bit of a chicken or egg situation."Getting funding for a dating app is very, very hard.
He says that dating apps rely so much on people who are nearby, and if those people aren't there immediately, people will leave the app.